I began my application to be a full-time missionary for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints.
My mission papers were submitted and this whole thing got real.
I received my own pretty white envelope in the mail and learned where I would serve my Savior for the next eighteen months.
I will begin the craziest, biggest adventure of my life thus far!
First some backstory... SO October 2012, aka the infamous mission age change. To be completely honest, when I heard the age change, I was frustrated! I thought that I never wanted to serve a mission but then when the age was significantly lowered for sisters... I suddenly felt all this pressure and like I would be expected to go. I didn't fully understand that I could be happy and excited for the girls who said they had received an answer to go even though that wasn't my answer yet. And so I went along and still told people that I didn't know for sure yet, but for now, I wasn't really planning on it. Fast forward six months. My mind became more open and my heart softer. The thought of a mission became something I didn't mind so much. I even started telling some people I was planning on it. Fast forward to August 2014. I began school at BYU Provo and was loving every second. A mission now became something that was on my mind but I thought I had other plans for myself. Looking back, I knew that I should go on a mission but I wasn't receiving any overwhelming confirmation that it was right for me. So I decided that it wasn't the right time. I even signed up for Fall 2015 classes and signed a year long apartment contract. I truly thought I knew what my life would look like six months from then but there was obviously a different plan in store for me...
May 26, 2015 was a normal day until that night. My sister and I were in the kitchen talking about life and the future. At this point in my life, I thought I knew how my future would unfold; or rather, how I thought I wanted it to unfold. I think I forgot that someone far greater than me has a far greater plan for me if I will just trust Him. A mission had been in the back of my mind, due to many of my close friends receiving their mission calls. My heart had been softened and even had become more open; I wasn't saying "no mission," but I was saying I would re-evaluate myself come fall semester. During our conversation, it hit me. But in the softest, yet most overwhelming way. I knew I would serve a mission. Without telling anyone, I went and talked to my dad aka my Bishop. I told him I wanted to leave in December. Then literally as I'm walking out the door:
Dad: "What do you think about putting in your papers asap and trying to leave in August."
Me: Ummm I have an apartment contract. Not happening. "Do you think I could? I mean I have an apartment contract already..."
Dad: "If it's right it will work out."
Me: "K let's do it!!!!!!"
At that moment, it was like all the stars had aligned in my life! I have never felt more at peace then I did at that moment. I went home and told my mom and almost gave her a heart attack in the process. I also decided that I wasn't going to tell anyone else until I got my actual call. Which was super hard but I'm glad I did it. I began my papers the next day and was on a spiritual high. Everything felt good and right but I did have moments of doubt. I began doubting my decision and the timing. I was nervous and scared to trade in comfort for the unknown. BYU is comfortable; my would have been future roommates were comfortable. A mission... not so comfortable. In fact, waaaayyyy out of my comfort zone. This was not the plan I had for myself and that scared me. I was supposed to go to BYU, continue pursuing my degree, and live with my best friends. Knowing that I would be sacrificing all of that truly scared me. Fear is real. It got the best of me; even up to the day of my Stake President interview when my papers would be submitted. It was a Sunday and I woke up confused, nervous, and doubtful. I went to church still feeling uneasy, wanting some sort of confirmation that I should still go on a mission and more importantly, that I should go now. I was sitting in Sunday school and as cheesy as this sounds, there was a quote on the wall that said, "When we put God first, all other things fall into their proper place or drop out of our lives."
What.
OKAY I GET IT I WILL GO NOW.
I see that quote every single week, but it obviously hit me that day. This quote was confirmation from my Heavenly Father that yeah, this may have not been in my plans, but it's the best plan. My heart grew about three sizes with love for my Heavenly Father that day. My papers were submitted and everything got reeeaaalllll (note: NO ONE knows still...). Then, a couple weeks later, my pretty envelope came and I learned that I would be serving in the Missouri, St. Louis Mission. Lots of people say that when they read where they are going, they feel overwhelmed and know that that's where they are supposed to be. While that is true for me, it was also true when I read my departure date. August 26 (my departure date) was my availability date and no way did I think I would actually leave that day. When I read it, it was yet another confirmation that this timing is right and that I made the right decision to go on a mission now.
My decision to serve a mission wasn't easy for me. I had to learn to overcome fear and choose faith instead... which is way easier said than done! Throughout this process I have learned that it is okay to feel fear as long as we don't let it overcome us. Fear is real. And Heavenly Father knows that. I have grown closer to Heavenly Father during this process and have learned what it means to really pray while I have poured my heart out to Him. I know that He hears and answers prayers. I know that He knows what's best and that His way is the right way... or else I would not be going at this time. I know that by putting our trust in Him and submitting our will unto His that we will be SO happy! Because I am so so so happy. This is His plan for me and I have to keep pinching myself that it's really happening. I love my Savior and this beautiful, perfect gospel.
SEE YA REAL SOON ST. LOUIS!
May 26, 2015 was a normal day until that night. My sister and I were in the kitchen talking about life and the future. At this point in my life, I thought I knew how my future would unfold; or rather, how I thought I wanted it to unfold. I think I forgot that someone far greater than me has a far greater plan for me if I will just trust Him. A mission had been in the back of my mind, due to many of my close friends receiving their mission calls. My heart had been softened and even had become more open; I wasn't saying "no mission," but I was saying I would re-evaluate myself come fall semester. During our conversation, it hit me. But in the softest, yet most overwhelming way. I knew I would serve a mission. Without telling anyone, I went and talked to my dad aka my Bishop. I told him I wanted to leave in December. Then literally as I'm walking out the door:
Dad: "What do you think about putting in your papers asap and trying to leave in August."
Me: Ummm I have an apartment contract. Not happening. "Do you think I could? I mean I have an apartment contract already..."
Dad: "If it's right it will work out."
Me: "K let's do it!!!!!!"
At that moment, it was like all the stars had aligned in my life! I have never felt more at peace then I did at that moment. I went home and told my mom and almost gave her a heart attack in the process. I also decided that I wasn't going to tell anyone else until I got my actual call. Which was super hard but I'm glad I did it. I began my papers the next day and was on a spiritual high. Everything felt good and right but I did have moments of doubt. I began doubting my decision and the timing. I was nervous and scared to trade in comfort for the unknown. BYU is comfortable; my would have been future roommates were comfortable. A mission... not so comfortable. In fact, waaaayyyy out of my comfort zone. This was not the plan I had for myself and that scared me. I was supposed to go to BYU, continue pursuing my degree, and live with my best friends. Knowing that I would be sacrificing all of that truly scared me. Fear is real. It got the best of me; even up to the day of my Stake President interview when my papers would be submitted. It was a Sunday and I woke up confused, nervous, and doubtful. I went to church still feeling uneasy, wanting some sort of confirmation that I should still go on a mission and more importantly, that I should go now. I was sitting in Sunday school and as cheesy as this sounds, there was a quote on the wall that said, "When we put God first, all other things fall into their proper place or drop out of our lives."
What.
OKAY I GET IT I WILL GO NOW.
I see that quote every single week, but it obviously hit me that day. This quote was confirmation from my Heavenly Father that yeah, this may have not been in my plans, but it's the best plan. My heart grew about three sizes with love for my Heavenly Father that day. My papers were submitted and everything got reeeaaalllll (note: NO ONE knows still...). Then, a couple weeks later, my pretty envelope came and I learned that I would be serving in the Missouri, St. Louis Mission. Lots of people say that when they read where they are going, they feel overwhelmed and know that that's where they are supposed to be. While that is true for me, it was also true when I read my departure date. August 26 (my departure date) was my availability date and no way did I think I would actually leave that day. When I read it, it was yet another confirmation that this timing is right and that I made the right decision to go on a mission now.
My decision to serve a mission wasn't easy for me. I had to learn to overcome fear and choose faith instead... which is way easier said than done! Throughout this process I have learned that it is okay to feel fear as long as we don't let it overcome us. Fear is real. And Heavenly Father knows that. I have grown closer to Heavenly Father during this process and have learned what it means to really pray while I have poured my heart out to Him. I know that He hears and answers prayers. I know that He knows what's best and that His way is the right way... or else I would not be going at this time. I know that by putting our trust in Him and submitting our will unto His that we will be SO happy! Because I am so so so happy. This is His plan for me and I have to keep pinching myself that it's really happening. I love my Savior and this beautiful, perfect gospel.
SEE YA REAL SOON ST. LOUIS!
No comments :
Post a Comment